Graduating from college has been a most humbling experience. I recently finished four grueling years at a school whose tuition could have afforded me over eight years of housing in one of Manhattans finer East Village apartments or a brand new house almost anywhere else in the country. I am now working a fulltime job that could still afford me housing in a fine East Village apartment, if I didn�t insist upon such frivolous luxuries such as food and electricity.
I spend my days �analyzing and processing legal documents� while �interacting with the partners, attorneys, legal secretaries and paralegals that make up our sizeable law firm,� as my newly updated resume purports. Translation: I make copies and stuff envelopes for eight hours a day surrounded by lunatics. My �daily interaction� amounts to hiding my increasing displeasure from said partners, catering to the inanely lazy attorneys, mediating between backbiting secretaries, and humoring any self-important paralegals. All of this on top of being scolded for doing things exactly the way I was instructed to do them. Ah yes, this is the life on which dreams are based. Rumor has it that the guy before me couldn�t be bothered to continue taking classes for his G.E.D. I guess my fancy New York University diploma came in handy when I interviewed to be his replacement. Hmmm, now why was it that I went to college?
When I moved to New York four years ago, this is not what I expected. I planned to work my ass of in school, pull a 4.0 and eventually become an editor for the New York Times. Of course, now I realize that it doesn�t take great grades (or great talent) to work at the Times, it just takes a great imagination (thanks Jason Blair!)
I came to New York knowing absolutely no one. I was scared and unprepared for life alone in the big city. What kept me going every day was my fantasy of becoming rich and famous and flying every person I knew and loved out to New York to live with me. Now, if it weren�t for the incompetence of America West Airlines�and their willingness to throw travel vouches at every mistake�I wouldn�t even be able to fly myself outta here to visit my loved ones for Christmas.
I am thousands of dollars in debt (Thanks NYU!) and I need to find a much cheaper place to live when my lease runs out in May. I must say, Jersey is looking mighty nice right about now. I don�t understand what went wrong. Good school + good grades = good job, good money and eventually good future, right? Too bad the economy is shit and I�m left competing against 30 year olds with graduate degrees and fifteen years of experience. Part of me wants to say, �fuck it� and move back to El Paso where my education and experience would impress people other than the cashiers at McDonalds. But I�ve never been one to say no to a challenge. Even if it means working three jobs and eating Ramen everyday, I�m going to stay in New York until I want to leave not because I have to leave. Besides why should I leave when I might have the chance to fork over another eight years worth of rent to my beloved alma mater? Perhaps once I earn my Masters degree that coveted position of Burger King fry cook will finally be within my grasp. One can only dream.
9:09 p.m. - 2003-10-23
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