Its getting harder and harder to update since my friend is staying in my room. sleeps in my bed and hangs out in here especially when im here.
b/ped at lunch today. i was at work for god's sake. i ate a salad with fresh mozz, chickpeas, egg and tomatoes and a piece of read and i was still hungry even after etaing an egg sanwich ealier. so i went ot burger king and had a bk vegiie and onion rings. i drank avitamin water too. i decided to purge so i went into the bathroom which had two stalls and prepped myself, i never purge in public, too hard. but i leaned over and shoved my fingers down my throat and clumps of food came up (graphic yes, but hey what the hell). i hadnt had enough liquid though so it was thick. i got up a decent amount i guess and stopped. good timing cause some lady came in as i was wahsing my hands. i was still full so i went to work and bough a soda an horu later an dpurged int he bathroom. there are like 5 stalls so i had to be sly. i brought the saod in like iw as going to wahsd my hands and primp. then waited till everyone left and ran to a stall and chugged it. i purged a smuch as ii could as quickly as possible and cleaned up the mess right before someoen cam ein. i felt so much better.
i canrt believe i am purging everywhere. it is out fo control. i just binged againa ndi plan to purge of course. i am going out tonight and i plan to drink so no more claories are needed. Later. Purge number 3 went well since i'm still alive and all. i felt like i got it all up. even saw a few pickles from lunch. its comforting to know that my friend and roommate will never suspect a thing. for one i'm very carefula nd two i dont think they care enough to even notice soemthing is wrong. they are wrapped up in their own dreams and fantasies while i live out my nightmares.
8:32 p.m. - 2003-08-28
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