My roommate is still a jackass. Apparently the shit hes been spewing my way is not the rose clored garbage hes been selling to our friend. Our friend had no idea that my roommate was bitching about when he would get an aprtment job etc and how all his friends were coming and he needed more room for them. Of course I got drunk last night and told him so now instead of me looking like an overreacting pyscho, my roommate looks liek the jackass that he is. Please liek I'd ever let anyone make me look like the bad guy for no reason. He tried to blame it on a misunderstanding. But I dont care anymore cause we all know the truth now. Asshole. I have no urge to duscuss with him all the issues I have with him. I laid them out in the email and now I'm done. Once all of my friends get back from summer vacation I wont need to deal with him anymore cause I wont be home. He is selfish and self righteous a fucking horrible combination. I really dont care to deal with him anymore. Our friend cleaned my room yesterday. It looks gorgeous! I have such nice friends, too bad I'm such a bitch. I havent been eating as much because I am too upset to eat. Very stressed out. Angry and sad. Roommate troubles and stupid random work people. So when I went out to drink last night with the friend who is staying with me, I got tipsy on 3 151 and diet cokes and sadly ordered fries. I felt so disgusting. My friend was on the phone with a bunch of different people from home. He had mentioned how he was popular, how tons of people adored him (not in a snotty, conceited way trust me I owuld have punched him if it had been). It made me sad for 2 reasons. 1) It made me less importnat in relation to all his other friends and 2) I have never had peopel falling all over themselves to be friends with me. I mean I have a lot of friends, more than I'd like at times. But I have never been a real object of affection. I wonder what thats like. I feel like if I got skinny and pretty then I'd know. So I got home and purged. I drank a big cup of water and took it into the bathroom with me while I showered. I got up a suprising amount since I didnt have that much in my stomach. I felt so much better about everything as I knew I would. Purging makes everything ok, which is why it's so hard for me to stop. Right now i don't care what happens to me. The blood doesnt stop me, neither do the chest pains. I dont know what to do.
I am so broke. I gotta ask the parents for money cause I went a little spend crazy this week. I have to pay rent and buy my roommate birthday stuff. As much of a jackass as he is Iam still his friend I guess.
On a funny note, I told my coworkers about what my roommate did and they called him a "jackass" I guess the word fits more than I thought.
Excited to hnag out with Amanda (http://crzy4blues.diaryland.com) this Saturday. All the people who I read who have hung out through diaryland like Limes and Hippo and Ectasia have had the coolest time. We are gonna get drunk of course cause thats what I do best! All right off to read the jackasses response to my email and get ready for work!
7:38 a.m. - 2003-08-26
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