800 cals yesterday 1500 today. doing a tad better. actually a fuckload better than the 3000+ days (weeks, months?) i was having. i realize i must weigh close to 170 pounds. my stomach has never been this huge before. my thighs, everything. i need to stay under 1400 cals everyday. then i can lose weight more quickly.
i am so pissed because there are absolutely no prospects in my life. i am sick of guys whining about how they hate their girlfriends but refusing to break up with them. dont be a poonanie gentlemen! your whining doesnt make me feel sorry for you. it makes me want to shot you with a pelletgun in your genitals. anyhoo...the guy at work that i like is a jackass. he's cute and he stares at me, but he's rude and never says hi or bye or goodnight to anyone. he only talks to me when he needs something and his staring is making me think he hates me.....i plan to be very rude ot him as only i can do. my secret power is extreme bitchiness, enough to bring anyone to their knees. muahahahahahaha!!!
purged today, but it was a mini purge...i was full and it needed to go. but i feel i should give up things for lent. so purging goes. smoking goes for as long as i can make it ( i am allowing myself 2 ciggies during this time...cheating yes, but i dont "celebrate" lent so i guess it ok. not sure what religion this is a part of, is it catholicism? also no takeout during the week. Not a lnet thing just my own resolution. i want to lose 15-20 punds by the middle of april. i dont have a scale but i can tell by looking at myself. a scale would kill me i think... Edited to add...after talking to my best friend i now understand what lent is about. so no ciggies are allowed at all. 40 days. i must do it. ugh...mini bing of a slice of cheese and some kashi and more vodka...so from 1300 cals to 1500...dammit.
9:05 p.m. - 2004-02-25
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